Me: Its like having a dream about a murderer coming out of your closet and murdering you. You have trouble going back to sleep because you’re worried about a guy coming out of the closet and murdering you.
Reese: So you’re worried about a gay murderer?
Today a man tried to bargain with us for his drinks. He put a Pepsi on the counter and said “how much?”
’1.35″, I told him.
“Ive got 3 dollars”, he said. “Would you give me two Pepsis for 3 dollars?”
I tried to do the math, but Oliver beat me to it.
“Sure”, he said, beaming. “It’s only 2.70! But we’ll take the 3 dollars if you want.
In further FURTHER adventures of the French onion soup lady (FOS)…
I said that the food preferences of this woman are a mystery. I revise that statement. The BRAIN of this woman is a mystery.
A week ago, she called Oliver and asked for an egg salad sandwich. Over the break, Oliver, who hates egg salad, decided to remove it from the menu. He told her this and she ordered something else.
Today, she called, and I answered. I recognized her voice, and was really surprised when she ordered… an egg salad sandwich!
This wouldn’t be really that big a deal (maybe she forgot?) if it weren’t for that fact that this woman is a repeat offender. We don’t offer gravy with our fries, even though the previous owner did. Oliver told FOS “no gravy” when he opened NINE months ago. Since then, up until as recently as two weeks before Christmas, she asks at least once a month: “Do you guys have gravy?”
Today a woman came in and ordered a tea (and a frittatta). We serve a kind of gourmet, locally made type tea that comes in clear tea bags. When she got the tea, she wanted to know what the white bits in her tea bag were. (Its tea!!!). Of course, Oliver and I don’t make tea, so we had no idea. Oliver talked to her and she seemed to come to terms with the white bits, but she still wanted a new cup of tea, and ‘put two tea bags in it.’ Both of the new teabags had white bits in them, and she didn’t seem to notice, so why she needed a new cup is beyond me but it doesn’t matter because once she actually tried the tea, she hated it, and went to get a coffee instead. She poured milk in her coffee, sat down, and then got up again five minutes later because her coffee was too cold ( you put milk in it!!!). So I microwaved it for her. While she was waiting for the microwave, she looked at the muffins and wanted to know what flavours they were. When I told her the banana muffins had chocolate chips in them, she asked ‘ALL of them?’ And I said yes.
‘I hate it when they do that,’ she griped. I didn’t apologize. We are a small business. We don’t sell enough muffins to put out five different kinds.
The only upside was she gave me a decent tip. I guess she knew she was being annoying, and figured the best thing to do was compensate for it financially. I’m certainly not complaining (about the tip that is :P)
In further adventures of the French onion soup customer….
Remember how this lady hates onions? Well Oliver told me that on Friday, she ordered a Western sandwich.
Confused, Oliver told her, “that has ham and ONIONS on it. Is that ok?”
“Oh yes, sounds great,” she responded.
Then she ate it. And loved it!
This woman’s food preferences are a true mystery.