A Good Friday Sin

This story happens in a bathroom. I’m sorry, that’s just the way it is.
After the Good Friday service, I went to use the washroom. As I entered the bathroom stall, I pulled my gigantic phone out of my tiny coat pocket. The phone was squeezed in so tight that when I pulled it out, a fat loonie popped out too. The loonie clattered LOUDLY to the floor and skidded under the neighbouring stall. It was still visible, but I really didn’t want to reach down and get it, because I felt like that would be a teeny bit awkward for the person in the next stall. So I figured I’d just sort of stand there, wait for the other person to leave the stall, and then retrieve the loonie really quickly. After a brief pause, while I stood around in a bathroom stall, no big deal, the tip of a foot appeared. The foot surreptitiously stamped down on the loonie, and slid it away. A couple of seconds later, the owner of the foot left the stall.
Oh, ok, I thought, they could have kicked it back to me but that’s cool, I guess they’ll wait for me to get out of the stall.
So I finished up my business really quickly, and exited the stall. The bathroom was empty. It was a deserted wasteland. A tumbleweed rolled by. I calmly washed my hands and checked my hair. I was kind of laughing to myself, but I wanted to give this mystery person one last chance to return the dollar. They didn’t.
So THAT is the story of how someone STOLE my loonie, ON Good Friday, IN church!! (I thought it was hilarious)


Resident Crazy + Ten Cents

It seems that I may have overestimated Resident Crazy’s ability to scam. Today, she shows up, and pulls her typical, ‘oh I don’t have enough money’. She was short ten cents.

I ask, “Can you bring it tomorrow?”

“I can’t! Im really busy tomorrow!” She yells in reply. (This is bullshit by the way. I would bet five bucks she’ll show up tomorrow. Twice. This is the reason I thought she was scamming).

So I tell her sorry, but we can’t serve her. She starts freaking out, and the café was unusually full, so I think Oliver just wanted to shut her up, because he offered to give her a coffee anyways. (You might be saying, but Anna, you make tips, why didn’t you just cover the ten cents. The reason is very simple. I don’t want to set a precedent. I just know that if I do it once, I’ll have to do it every time, and she’ll start treating my tip bowl like her personal spare change. That’s what she does with her boyfriend because he’s willing to cover for her when she’s short. This is the same reason that Oliver doesn’t usually cover the change she’s short.)

This is where things went a little off. I expected Resident Crazy to sort of hesitate but then accept. Instead, she started freaking out, saying she couldn’t take the coffee. There were two customers behind her and she wouldn’t say yes to the coffee, even though Oliver was already making it for her. In retrospect, maybe she just wanted me to give her back the dollar fifty I’d already managed to get from her.

She kept going on over and over again that she couldn’t take it. Finally, one of the women in the café said “it’s an Easter present.” I parroted this, and looking confused, she went and got the coffee.

That’s not the worst part of the story. Oh no, the real kicker is this: she gets her coffee from Oliver, and she sits down, sort of fuming, and then I hear her loudly grumble “[something something] you’re ripping me off!” That’s right. He made up the difference on her coffee, and in return, she accused him of cheating her.

What a charmer.


Epilogue: she came in the next day. Twice. And she had a ten dollar bill, so I think she could have paid us back those ten cents.