Status

Introducing Resident Crazy

We have a regular customer who isn’t quite all there mentally. Let’s call her Resident Crazy. She often tells us she has less money than the price of her items. Oliver always tells her she can come back and pay it off tomorrow, but we both know she’s trying to scam him or her boyfriend into paying the difference, because the money always magically appears eventually.
Today, she tried to buy a coffee.
Oliver said “That will be $1.60.”
She countered with, “I only have 1.50.”
“That’s OK, you can pay me the 10 cents tomorrow,” he told her.
Then she broke out with what I think is the strangest line I have ever heard a customer tell an owner.
She said, “I can’t be paying you all the time, y’know.” (The same way someone might say “I can’t be clearing your dishes off the table all the time, y’know” or something similar.) As if she was paying him as a FAVOUR!
Later, he said to me “Seriously? Is she for real?”
But at the time, he smiled and said, “Sure. I give to you for free!”
And she replied, “OK!”
And then he went stone faced and coldly said “It’s $1.60.”
Surprise! She had the money. She paid.

Status

The Begging Hobbit

Should you ever find yourself at the medical building of Café Italia and a grizzled old man asks you to buy him a meal, fight the urge to display kindness and say no.
You see, this old man used to order a coffee, sit in Café Italia, and ask every passing customer for money. Finally, Oliver told him he wasn’t allowed to do that anymore. So the old man switched tactics. Yesterday I watched him smooth talk someone into buying him a sandwich for breakfast. After he had left, Oliver told me that was his THIRD free breakfast that morning. Not only that, but he can afford to buy food for himself. He’s paid for himself before.
Obviously his three breakfasts didn’t fill him, because he returned in the afternoon to con a nice girl into buying him a hot dog. Then he convinced another lady to buy him a turkey wrap.
So I repeat: if you meet a grizzled old man at our medical building who tells you some story about how he was in the army, and asks you to buy him breakfast, say no and save your change for someone who doesn’t eat like a Hobbit.