Rushing Slowly

We have this regular customer who comes in every once in a while. She always tells us that she’s in a rush.
‘Oh, can I get that to go?’ She says. ‘I only have 3 minutes to eat.’ Or ‘How fast can you make that? I really have to go!’
Now, we can be very accommodating if you are in a hurry. We will rush our butts off to make sure your food gets to you asap. The problem is, this woman ALWAYS tells us to ‘Please hurry’ and then proceeds to sit down, talk our ears off (she’s very talkative and opinionated and loudly dislikes French people…awkward), and always eats her entire meal in front of us. 3 minutes always turns into at least 20. Sometimes she even sticks around to order and eat dessert!